Surviving Love


I heard a quote a long time ago that I tend to live by when it comes to my husband.  A couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary was asked how they had stayed together so long.  The wife smiled and said “We never fell out of love at the same time”.  This quote coupled with something my grandmother used to always yell at my cousin and my pack of siblings “FIGHT NICE KIDS” gives me pause to stop, breathe, sit down and think.

I love my husband muchly, and we’ve been married 21 years next month but there have been times when I’ve wanted to pull my hair out.  I know for a fact he went gray prematurely because there are things that I must simply have my way about (my dog lol).

So I’m reading on Divine Caroline about all sorts of goods stuff like, Let’s Get It On:  The Best Aphrodisiacs.  Where Brie Cadman lists 10 things to be used or not to get your partner in the mood.  Are these products really  needed?  Or have we in our rush to have it all materially and romantically lost our sex drives?

I’m not going to share our sex stories (some are hilarious) and the frequency but I am going to say this, stop and think.  I will see my husband helping make dinner and I know  he’s doing it because he loves me.  I don’t get flowers, but when he’s passing by a store and sees something he knows I want (Like my new Crocs), I know he isn’t doing what men are programed to do (flowers).  He is doing it because he loves me.  When women and men are treated well out of bed they are generally treated well in bed.

Reading the Washington Post’s, Carolyn Hax, writer of Feeling Frustrated On The Home Front , she gave her readers the chance to give advice while she was away and a quote I read made me laugh.  “For Men, there is no romance without sex.  Lack of sex causes esteem issues and a general feeling of discontent.”  I don’t know that I agree wholy with that comment but men are sexual creatures and need their urges met just as we need a new purse or shoes.  Many women take this offensively, but its not.  They prefer to have sex with their wife but much of the time the woman who is “trying to have it all” is unavailable, and they begin to look else where.

I’m not saying this is right, I’m just sayin (lol).  Anyway, my point is husbands and wives need to remember why they fell in love to begin with.  Every single day.  Just as I have the need to pray every morning and night, I need my husband to know that I love him and find him attractive and why.  I’m not trying to say we have the perfect marriage but we work at it.  I have a goal to be married for at least 50 years and when I’m mad I ask myself is this going to get into the way of my goal?  and much of the time I let it go and breathe deeply.


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