By: Shannon Deitz
We all yearn to be loved. It is our self-imposed litmus test for worthiness—our way of confirming we are special and knowing that we matter. Acclaimed author and speaker Shannon Deitz understands that yearning well. Raped at seventeen and then again as a freshman in college, she felt completely bypassed by love. Rebelling against the violent attacks on her body and struggling to quiet the pain through self-abuse, her feelings of worthlessness eventually became so palpable she could not fathom how anyone—most especially God—could love her. This only caused her to push deeper into her own torment.
“I endured countless, inexcusable trials, walking further and further away from the embrace of Christ because I felt too unworthy to look back,” Deitz recounts. “And worse, I didn’t want to be like them, those who were self-righteous…holier than thou. I liked me.”
At least she thought she did.
Then, at the age of 27, unable to fight the battle raging inside her any longer, she gave it all up. Face down on her bedroom floor with her life in shambles all around her, Deitz surrendered every aspect of her being to God. She gave up the self-judgment, the condemnation, the need to be better. She let it all go. And, in that moment, every fear faded away and for the first time since childhood she experienced true peace.
This book is a good read. There is constantly something you can relate to. Something that had you down. So far down that you didn’t want to come back up. It’s all too familiar with the fact that when you have no where else to go you go to God. He is here for us always but you have to want Him and admit that you want Him. When a childhood isn’t as it should be you have two paths the right path and the wrong path but no matter what path you take God is there.