Up Yours Martha Stewart And Your Hubbub

This is no way a sponsored post. All opinions expressed are my very own.

Maybe I’m late to the game, hey that’s okay. Better late than never, right. I’m working on a small project with BlogHer NetWork and the first thing I saw this morning was this title: Dear Martha Stewart, Here’s What You SHOULD Have Said About Bloggers

Is she serious? Does she have any idea what entails running a blog? I mean really doing it yourself? Even as a team when I’m not a bad friend, it’s constant going on behind the scenes for those of us that blog. Busy, busy, busy.

OH wait a minute. Hold up. Martha blogs too, doesn’t she? And she has outreach through social media. Right?

Oh, wait just a single stinking minute right here. Just nix all that!

Martha hires a PR team to do those dirty little things that her man hands can’t handle. Yes, I’m a little ticked. Who is she with  a chef and personal shopper to gather ingredients and planning her shows, putting everything for her together to just toss together and make it look so, super easy. Well I have yet to find a Martha craft or recipe to use. They’re time consuming, difficult and frankly I don’t think they’re made for women with families. I have always thought that her “hubbub” trinket making was more suitable for those in a MUCH higher income bracket. Perhaps that’s what she meant when she said,

Who are these bloggers? They’re not trained editors at Vogue magazine. I mean there are bloggers writing recipes that aren’t tested, that aren’t necessarily very good, or are copies of everything that really good editors have created and done. So bloggers create a kind of popularity, but they are not the experts. And we have to understand that.”

So here is a letter to Martha.

Image Credit: http://www.freakingnews.com/Ugly-Martha-Stewart-Pictures-74574.asp

Image Credit: http://www.freakingnews.com/Ugly-Martha-Stewart-Pictures-74574.asp

Dear Martha,

I am a Mom and a blogger, a real one. You know the kind you hear about that actually touched a shitty diaper, one that picked up her own child and was puked on and yes, I probably did go to sleep a few times with banana pudding puke in my hair, that’s what real Moms do. You see? Also, when crafting, you craft so that these items are kid friendly and fun. Not stressful with supplies that’s going to cost 1/3rd of your income then take 4 days to create. Even your so-called “simple felt crafts” are a real pain in the ass. I’m not wasting my .33 cent sheet of felt for your nonsense. I found alternative crafts to include my children and make gifts that are suitable for giving on a BUDGET. A budget that does not include hiring a PR team to do the dirty work for me.

So maybe you don’t think I’m an expert, but the pediatrician has praised me and I’ll take his or her compliments much quicker than I’ll accept an insult from you on behalf of every person that has blogged. Ever.

An expert blogger can juggle 3 meals a day on a strict budget, include special diets and avoid allergens for those that have allergies, we multi-task like a $2 floozy getting paid overtime. You Martha Stewart disgust me. I mean you seriously disgust me. To sit on what you think or thought was a pedestal for all of us to follow and ogle at. Wrong lady, and I’m using the term lady very loosely here.

To answer your question, without referencing myself as a third person as “you” do via social media outlets.

These bloggers are women, raising children, the majority with degrees you, yourself do not hold. These blogers have created their/our own niches and found a way to contribute to and for our families, while maintaining the ability to stay home. We spend many late nights working on our sites, doing the techy stuff, the SEO, layouts, images, color schemes. You name it, the biggest majority of “us bloggers” are the ones that know what REAL DIY is. So why don’t you do the blogging world a favor and go away.

As for those bloggers with recipes, those bloggers with their recipes are using ingredients that many families keep on hand, and are readily available. Since we do our own “dirty work” you see, we don’t have someone to fetch those for us. Our recipes aren’t tested? Are you kidding me? Lady, I make some mean chocolate gravy and regular scratch gravy. Make it like a real woman! My kids survived, my husband is alive and no Home Ed. teachers were harmed. And you think our shiz wasn’t tested. Man, you irk me.

Back to the hokey with you with some witches brew.

On behalf of bloggers everywhere. I challenge YOU to blog without your support team for a full month, on a regular basis. Go ahead, I dare you.



P.S. Your booth and swag both sucked rotten eggs during BlogHer’12, the upside is I didn’t have to look at you a single time.

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