Admitting Our Kids Have Limitations

 

Quinn Fishing June 2016

 

My youngest son was a challenge this spring.  He grew 5 1/2″ in less than 6 months.  He has a heart condition and stomach condition and then with the growth spurt a back condition.  With his back aching it put another limitation on him.  This is a child that doesn’t want to be held down.  He had to go back for his camp physical three times before they finally signed the paperwork.

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As a mom I was a bit disgruntled because of the time it was taking to run my son to all of his appointments.  The fact that the school was complaining about all the classes he was missing, and the fact that this cost us a small fortune medically was enough to drive me mad.  We have always joked that Quinn is our Million Dollar Kid but that’s not far from the truth.  As always, Quinn took these appointments in stride.  Never crying or whining but cracking jokes and telling me “Mom don’t worry”.

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My husband and I would talk privately about what we were going to do and try to make a plan of attack but we always seem to be thrown a curve ball.  The biggest curve though is for Quinn who grew up wanting nothing but to be a soldier.  Unfortunately, for him but fortunately for my heart he will never be a soldier because of his many medical issues.

 

My husband and I have never let Quinn make excuses or sit out because of his limitations.  Instead we pushed him to try, until this year.  We had to finally concede that there are things he cannot and will not be able to do.  One of those is endurance exercise of any sort.  Most especially swimming, and living on the Great Lakes that’s a biggie.  While he can swim, he can’t swim for long periods of time.  But, I did find that he excels at bike riding and it seems to stretch his back and legs out, making him feel better.  While just biking wasn’t fun for him, I have worked this summer to make it fun.

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I have been giving him change and letting him go to the local corner store (he’s 14) to get a treat now and then.  I’ve also been sending him to the store for small things he can carry in his backpack like bread, eggs and other incidentals.  He then asked if he could ride his bike to the beach.  We live a mile from Lake Michigan and I agreed, but worried.  I prayed and trusted God and let him go.  He met some friends at the beach, played some sand games like football and frisbee, and ran in the lake to cool off.  While he was telling me this I realized HE knew his own limitations.  He didn’t go out into the deep water because “well, you know mom I can’t swim well” and he made sure he was with a buddy when he did go in the water.  I was super proud of him.

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This summer while almost over has been a learning experience for me and for him.  He has learned what he can and can’t do physically, and is listening to his body.  He is still active but focusing on the things he can do instead of the things he can’t do.  And I have learned that I need to trust Quinn more.  I’ve also learned that no amount of worry will fix anything and that I have to turn it over to God!

4 comments for “Admitting Our Kids Have Limitations

  1. Cynthia Mercado
    August 18, 2016 at 11:38 am

    My son has Sensory Processing Disorder so we face some limitations daily but he works to overcome.

  2. Aaron
    August 19, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Seems like good (and challenging) parenting! Best wishes for Quinn.

  3. ellen beck
    August 20, 2016 at 1:51 am

    Quinn is wiser than you think. He knows how far he can push it, and as long as he remains level headed he will listen to that angel on his shoulder. He sounds likea fine young man. While he cant be a soldier, he could perhaps work with soldiers

  4. Sue E
    August 20, 2016 at 7:23 am

    Faith is leaving everything in God’s hands! You have to believe that you showed him the ropes and he knows you would never steer him wrong! All moms dread the day that they have to let their kids go!! Believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle & HE blessed you with a loving bright young man! Keep praying! Miracles still happen every day!! God Bless you Quinn! Keep enjoying your life ????????????

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