Do Some People Love More Than Others? My “How” Journey

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On the outside I’m not an emotional person but on the inside, that’s another story.  I don’t share my feelings with people and that includes my husband and kids.  But when those feelings get bottled up it’s like shaking a bottle of champagne, the lid blows open and leaves everyone around in shock.  I seem to think, no I don’t want to talk about this or share because I can handle it.  I do it over and over until one day the bottle is full.

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I sat and reflected about how this has served me and it hasn’t, but it’s hard to break old habits.  Then I started to go in depth and wonder do people lost in depression feel more than people like me who just store feelings until they come out like an explosive detonation?  I’m not so sure.

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I keep people at an arms length but when I do let them in I love hard and I will do anything for friends or family.  When some one passes, a tragic event happens or havoc ensues in my life I shut down.  I get stuck on stupid until whatever it is is fixed, or I can come to grips with it.  I don’t really think I love any less than the person who mourns the passing of a relative or friend for years.  I think I continue to live.  There have been times I didn’t think I could go on but after a bit of reflection and meditation with God, I’ve been able to overcome this pit of feelings.

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I think people that become depressed and can’t move on are more into themselves, but not in bad way or critical way of thinking.  I think they feel they can’t move on or live well with out guilt, lack of this persons presence etc.

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So in my “How” Journey this week, I’m working to overcome dwelling.  I’m engaged in find what makes me tick and reverse the bad and reinforce the good.  It’s all about stopping the hamster wheel in my mind and coming to a whole new way of thinking.

7 comments for “Do Some People Love More Than Others? My “How” Journey

  1. susan smoaks
    September 26, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    This is very interesting to me. I spend a lot of time trying to figure things out but I do tend to think that we are truly all very different.

  2. Jamie Martin
    September 27, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    Trying also to overcome dwelling.

  3. LYN WILLIAMS
    September 28, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Great piece! It actually makes you think!

  4. dhruv gupta
    December 5, 2016 at 10:12 am

    Great Article!!! These articles really help.

  5. Terry Poage
    December 12, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    Great article to share. I need to do some reflecting on myself to and figure out why I can’t stay with someone.

  6. December 19, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    Terry, my husband and I were talking this weekend about a friend of his that resorted to a mail order type spouse. I asked him if I died where he would look. His first answer was church. He’s not a churchy person and he’s not overly religious but he has morals and is a quiet person. He said he would look for someone active in church.

  7. Rebecca Kerchner-Love
    March 12, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    It’s funny that I read this now. If I had read it 2 weeks ago my life might of taken a better turn. I have always held people at arm’s length, even as a child. Even at a young age I knew that if you loved someone or something, you could be hurt. I relived that lessen over and over for 34 years, the first three don’t really count as an infant tends to return affection to whomever is willing to give it in return. So at about 3, I would say I figured out the way of things, but anyways,back to now. I am now a mother of 3. 18, 17, and 13. Now don’t get me wrong I love my children but there or levels of love and different kinds of love, and even being a mother I could only give so much. Now my daughter is going to be a mother any day actually. A child I will never get to see or hold or even know. Not by my choice but because I was not capable of giving more love for fear of being hurt, I raised a daughter that pushes people away even harder than I ever did.

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