All of my life I have been afraid of disappointing people and not living up to their standards. By doing so I haven’t lived up to my standards and have disappointed myself. So today I sat thinking and dreaming about what I would love the perfect holiday decorations for my home to look like. Dreaming and thinking that it’s too bad I can’t do the things I would love.
Why can’t I? Well first I my husband and I bought his childhood home and my mother in law still casts her touches about. Her idea of the perfect Christmas decorations is a Hallmark moment. While I don’t mind Hallmark it isn’t how I picture Christmas. In the past I’ve rotated her idea and mine just to please her. This year that stops.
First off my mother in law lives alone. She has beautiful things with no one to see them. This is HER choosing not mine. She has alienated her friends and in a way her family too. Her home isn’t one that you visit without an invitation and so her personal touch isn’t seen. Our home has a revolving door which is why I think she works so hard to cast her spells about the place (yeah, that’s figurative btw cause there are no real witches here).
My idea of the perfect decorations? A tree full of homemade ornaments and ornaments collected over the years with a special story. Christmas cards tucked between the branches from those that love us enough to pen a note. GARLAND! I love garland, and it never struck me how much until my daughter reminded me of all the paper chains, strung popcorn, strung gumdrops and the sort that we had done over the years. And the topper? I have beautiful angels, crosses and stars that each year sit in boxes so that I can display the angel my mother in law prefers.
I took a few moments today to sit and think about what my house could be this holiday season. What sipping cocoa, listening to holiday music and looking around would make me happy. I took the time to write these down and am going to work on items that need to be made and making this vision come true and maybe, just maybe, my mother in law will admire my own touch this year.