The holiday season brings out the best in people, and the worst in people. I think sometimes, it’s much easier for us to have empathy for strangers, than is to have empathy for our own family members. It’s easier to love from afar than what is right in front of you, and it is much much easier to give when you don’t have to forgive someone to do it.
In my “How Journey” I’ve learned a lot about myself. This year I’ve found there is more to like about me than I thought, but that I also have some dark areas. Things have happened in my life that I thought I had forgiven and let go of. Well, I may have forgiven but I haven’t let go of the hurt or the memories. It’s sort of a scab that hasn’t healed on my soul. I hold on to things and dwell on them, even the smallest speck that should have gone away long ago. And then it hit me, this is holding a grudge. Whether I wanted to or not I was holding grudges.
So how does all this fit into, Holidays – The Good, Bad & Ugly? No matter what bad has been done to us, holding a grudge makes us ugly on the inside. The good? When we forgive and let it go, the good can seep into your soul and you will like yourself more. This is much easier said than done. Believe me I know because I’ve been letting things fester for what seems like forever. I smile on the outside and tell everyone all is good, but on the inside I have been dwelling on things that people have done to me, or how I think they thought of me. Yes, I know I have done things too, things that others maybe dwelling on and things that I pray I’ve been forgiven of.
Around the holidays this dwells in me more than usual. I think about God sending Jesus to forgive our sins. Sins we’ve committed against each other and Him. And so I sat down and I wrote down all of the things I felt people had done to me and that was bothering me. I wrote down what I was feeling, why I these things. I looked that list over good and then I burned it. I threw it in the fireplace and watched it burn, and as it did I looked down at the pad of paper I was holding and it was blank. A blank slate to start new.
So I’ve decided to lose myself this holiday season in God and the coming of His Son. To start with a clean slate myself and to give everyone else a clean slate.