When Death Interrupts #HowJourney


So much has been going on that I’m not even sure where to start.  I am a schedule kind of girl and when it gets interrupted it throws me into a tizzy.  I have a daily list of items for myself to accomplish and when I miss a couple I get stuck on stupid.  I have to finish them or I can’t move on to the next days list.  Crazy I know!  Most times the items I can’t complete rely on someone or something else and is actually out of my hands.  I have been working to let myself skip items and come back to them but it’s kind of like driving on a straight road, taking an alternate route and coming back to the same place.


Last summer, my husband was riddled with surgeries that had to be done, 4 to be exact.  It took up a lot of my time nursing him and helping him to recover.  This year however, it’s been (STILL) taking care of my father in laws estate.  Mind you an estate valued at less than $15000.  Ralph, passed in January, and I thought it was pretty cut and dry.  He had a will, we sold his stuff, paid for his cremation, paid his bills and that would be that.  Noooooooot sooooooooo FAST!

The will wasn’t probated meaning it had never been acknowledged by the court.  That meant we had to hire an attorney.  We got all of the necessary paperwork together and submitted what the court requested.  Mind you, you submit what they ask for no more and no less.  We paid a fee to both the attorney and the court for this.  The court denied it and wanted more information that you’re not supposed to submit the first time.  We paid the attorney and the court again and resubmitted (see the little racket going on here?!).  Each time we submitted the information it was a good 30 day wait for the information to even get looked at.


While the above was going on we had to pay my father in laws trailer park rent, the utilities, move all of his things into storage, contact the other kids involved, contact bill collectors etc.  We did this from January until August.  While we’re almost done we’re not quite there yet.    Since my husband works out of the home and working from home can be a bit thankless, it was up to me to run all of this down.

My father in law truly had very little and we live paycheck to paycheck and in trying to do the right thing we spent all of our savings (not much) and our tax return paying the trailer park rent and utilities each month.  We finally sold his trailer, paid off the funeral home, and are working at reimbursing ourselves.


I cannot share the education we received with you because it would take too long but I have some advice.  Please probate your will it will cut the amount of time to settle your estate by 2/3s.  When writing your will, be specific.  If you want things a certain way you need to write it out so that there isn’t a he said, she said going about.

Are you going to be someone responsible after someone passes?  Get educated!  Laws change from state to state and no assumptions can be made.  Ask your loved one questions, it’s not something we want to do but it is necessary.


This has been a life altering experience for my husband and I.  It has taken a lot of time and our own money to take care of the estate.  Not only did my husband lose his father but we’ve both lost time off work and our own money.


What steps are you going to take to help make sure this doesn’t happen to your family?

11 comments for “When Death Interrupts #HowJourney

  1. Linda Manns Linneman
    August 17, 2017 at 7:34 am

    This can be so difficult. They make it alot harder than it should be. We all should make sure our estate is taken care of so we don’t have these problems Thank you for sharing. God Bless

  2. Linda Madden
    September 3, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    So sorry to hear about your struggles. I have everything done including my living will

  3. Sandra Watts
    September 3, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    I suppose this is something I should be doing, sooner than later. Thanks for sharing your post and the tips. These times should be so much less of a struggle.

  4. Sally Gearhart
    September 4, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Wow, what an incredible story! I’m so sorry yall had to deal with this but I’m grateful to hear some truth. My mom is 80 now and we don’t want to talk about it but i think we should. Thank you so much for sharing your story and sorry for yalls loss!

  5. Katie
    September 10, 2017 at 10:00 am

    I’m so sorry. Thanks for sharing this article

  6. September 11, 2017 at 3:39 am

    Ughh. It is hard enough going thru the emotions of losing a loved one. THEN dealing with the estate and ridiculous laws can be overwhelming. It is definitely best to plan ahead. It is very beneficial having a living trust. Create it while your loved one is still coherent and able to make good decisions. Even that costs money though. Money, money, money. SO sad we can’t even DIE without causing monetary pain and stress for someone.

  7. Susan P.
    September 14, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    I was the executor for my father’s estate and he had drawn up a trust to be divided amongst his 4 children. Luckily, I had my sister to assist me. It took 8 months to sell the condo and luckily there was enough in his bank accounts to pay bills for it. I’m sorry you had to go through the hassle.

  8. Molli Vandehey-Taylor
    September 16, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    thank you for sharing this. handling the details is no fun especially when its a close relative

  9. Lynne B
    October 11, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you for sharing how you navigated it all.

  10. October 13, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    I use to do some funeral planning. I was a nurse forever, and found that it was just so important to have things planned out in life, no matter how young you are.

  11. Linda Madden
    February 24, 2018 at 3:21 pm

    Sounds like such a nightmare. Thanks for sharing this with us!

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